Three and a half years earlier
I’d instinctively known Mcfee was the one for me, he was not my usual type, he had red hair that still glowed bright (despite the crew cut) and a battle scarred face. but we connected with each other right from the off.
From the start I felt a need to keep him safe and make him happy, he in turn never ever says no to any of my plans or ideas even the most impulsive ones.
It is the first relationship that I’ve had that hasn’t filled me with angst or longing or desperation.
I feel secure and loved and understood and boy have we had fun. I have packed more into the short time that we have been together than in the whole of my life before him and I thank my lucky stars that we were thrown together at just the right time in our lives to truly appreciate each other.
In the past year or so Mcfee has experienced neurological symptoms that have slowly robbed him of the ability to walk unaided without crutches and he has a lot of pain so our carefree fun filled days have changed a little.
The thing I miss the most is not being able to hold his hand when we are walking out and about, and I feel even more protective of him, it is not until you are close to somebody with a disability that you can see some of the things that they are up against.
Some people are just thoughtless and don’t mean any harm but when you are out doing shopping and you come across 4 or 5 thoughtless people…
The ones who are rushing distractedly on their phone wondering why the guy with crutches in front of them can’t go any faster instead of walking round,
The mums with pushchairs who nearly knock him off his feet because they aren’t looking where they are going,
The group of people walking three or four abreast on the pavement who expect him to jump off the curb rather than them thinning out.
It can be a challenging experience and I know Mcfee gets frustrated and a little bit vocal at times, I try and be by his side at all times to support him and protect him, I walk him to work at 9:30pm and collect him again at 6am. Its important for him to keep his job because its more than just a wage right now its a sense of achievement.